its 4:30 AM and i talk about happiness...

4 hrs since i came from work. can't sleep. thinking of random things. blog-hopping. a alotof stuff is on my mind lately.

i am still stumped since i answered a couple of surveys questions in friendster. "are you happy?" "who makes you happy?" i was surprised that i had to pause and rack my brain for an answer. it should not be this hard, shouldn't it?

i do not think i am depressed. i dont take any happy pills. im not ecstatic either. im just there - existing. sometimes bordering on sarcasm, but other than that, i am just OK. i see other events in peoples lives and i see them giddily happy. it doesn't make me puke, but it makes me feel happy for them. but why are they so giddy? does that mean i am miserable? but i dont feel miserable,

i wonder if i am the only 1 feeling this.

are you happy? what makes you happy? i mean really, existentially happy??? and i dont mean God's love or any of that ^$&^*&#^%*&...