i'm so confussed. YES - CON-FUSSED.

I AM POSTING MY CAREER RELATED QUESTIONS BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE TO BOUNCE OFF MY CONCERNS TO... SO YOU CAN EITHER SKIP OR READ (to gain more knoweldge as well...)

i once posted in facebook that my career is sitting in boredomville.

with the recent upcoming change it is certainly headed to uncertaintyland. why? let me tell you.

the security of my future job in informatics in the hospital that i am workng at right now is dependent on the fiscal budget for next year.

currently, i am cushioned by the benefits of being in the union (i'm technically on leave from floor duty - floor duty nurses have union benefits) because my stint in IS was supposed to be temporary until my contract runs out. i was supposed to go back at the end of october - a decision i made because i was not that satisfied with my role as an end-user trainer. Despite the CONS that presents with floor duty, the PROS of the latter far outweighed the PROS as a trainer. the PROS being a guaranteed 3% annual salary increase as laid out in our union contract, job security due to seniority, and that i also miss the skills related to clinical nursing. was supposed to go back after the end of october until the director offered me a more fulfilling job.

but then the reality starts to sink in. the CONS of staying in clinical informatis is now starting to rear its ugly head. although i will be taking on a more challenging role, my pay stays as is because writing a new contract before the end of this fiscal year (march 2009) will pull me outside the safety nets of my current cushions - meaning i may lose my medicare benefits. currently the position is paid for by the project budget but may no longer justified as a project position for the next fiscal budget because its not going to be PROJECT-BASED ANYMORE - there will always be a need for that position in the organization, thus the department's operational budget should be increased. and subject to approval.

bad news is - we just received an email from our hospital's chief financial officer that there will be a projected deficit of $10million in the next fiscal year (due to the recent market crash and the projected negative impacts in the next few months...). we have to do this internal benchmarking evaluation process to reduce cost and still maintain our service capacities. TRANSLATE: if the senior management will not approve the permanent fulltime position (d/t the aforementioned scenario) then that means i have to take on a contract position effective april next year until god knows when...

it will take a huge leap of faith for me. but i can see myself doing this for a very long time compared to floor duty nursing. i just do not want to jump on murky waters. right now i'm planning ahead - maybe i should take my masters so that if this job is not guaranteed, i have the paper to back it up and eke it out somewhere else. but that means i have to scrung up the moolah to fund for the education. f&%^& and i'm still not paying off the loan canada has "graciously" given me to fund my post-secondary education.

and then there is tommy..who sees a wedding in leass than 2 years... haaah, Lord give me a clear path!

i don't know why i let myself get sucked in the rat race...