OF LIFE AND DEATH

i havent been writing here lately. whats new? i guess life just go by so fast easily that you cannot stop to simply enjoy living it. its a sad excuse but its the realities these days...

i know i dont have to work too too hard coz i may only run the risk of burning myself out. but money is an evil motivator man.. coz when a lot of it comes, it tempts you to have more and more and more. half of me wishes that i was back to my starving student self. the less money you have, the more satisfied you are with the simple things in LIFE.

so anyways... my experiences with work has been motivating me as well. you see life happenning through other people's experiences. i admit i'm a little bit preoccuppied with the subject of DEATH and the process unfolding within it and around it.

so far none of my patients died in my care, and that scares me. yeah sounds a bit retarded, eh? but my point is that having inexperienced it, i wont know how to act when death occurs. i wont know how to react with the emotional upheaval of close relatives when it will arise. i wont know what to say, or what to do to support the grieving survivors. OR I wont know how to feel when i do post-mortem care - touching a dead body and giving it a wash. or simply the process of pronouncing someone's death. or calling a family member at home to tell them an unexpected demise...AND IT EVEN SCARES ME MORE IF ALL OF THESE HAPPEN WHEN I WORK NIGHT SHIFT AND I'M THE DESIGNATED CHARGE NURSE.

these are the questions that i ought to know what to do about...